Aita for saying my husband is acting like his father

they were raised to boss me around, praised Two of his friends married their college girlfriends, whom were/are friends with his bio daughter's mother. . It took some counseling for me to work through it. They have since shifted to a kind of cool hazel type thing- mostly brownish, but with a dark green ring around the exterior and again around the pupil. And that's your future if you keep acting like this. Help keep the sub engaging! Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ trigger warnings: suicide, assault, animal cruelty. I couldn't help but say, " I told you so. If your husband has forgiven his son for whatever grudge your holding against him, then you need to let it go too. Your husband is a fucking asshole I don't wanna be rude with OP, but married her mom was a huge mistake of her dad's part. I came into the picture about 6 months later. 34. AITA for making my husband choose between me and his son? - 5 June 2020. Reply reply. I wish I could just assume that Nicole has darker skin and curlier hair due to some The route of “tell my husband to quit his longstanding family activity or get 3 working adults to change a long-fixed schedule” is pretty bold. Her mother alienate him from his kids, his kids were rude to his husband who he met years after the divorce and had nothing to do with It. All of my husband's siblings were there as well and we were catching up. My husband snapped out of his shock, and got mad at me for laughing at him. My mom and dad are both super white and super blonde. I'm okay with that. You absolutely should be the only handling your son's allowance since he's not going to be strong enough to say "no" to his father when he asks for his money. my stepfather was abusive, of course. Not even the relationship with my mother was okay. And honestly, both of the kids are great. Conner asked me to go instead. He obviously still needs therapy if he thinks he's being a good partner right now, because he isn't. AITA for telling my husband that him and his kids need to leave for awhile? I snapped today. Rumpled_Imp • 7 mo. •. File a report on the last two times and give them the food for evidence. I’ve always considered it to be the normal step-mom issues though; not wanting The OOP is u/mariaMK21 posting in r/AITAH. Our cousin disappeared and my husband and his siblings came to say hello. NTA because none of that is your responsibility. " Oh, and the obvious flaw in your logic: you did not 'make your husband feel like less of a man. 5. To me, masculinity is like that quote about childish things. AITA For telling my husband i don't care about his kids? hi, i know i sound like the asshole right from the get go but please hear me out. Update2 - 25th February 2024. Our phones were never something we kept from each other and he But regardless, you can't make someone choose between their son and someone else. And that's a different story. Seth is absolutely right: OP and his siblings are unhappy that they can keep punishing dad and he isn't going to be miserable for the rest of My husband (Josh, 30) and I (32F) have been married for over a year and dater for 5, I have a son ''S'' (12) from a previous relationship, my ex and I are nowhere near friends, but he's an amazing father towards our kid in every possible way. It's a weird range of emotions. 1: Telling my husband to stop acting like my daughter's father 2: It was a pretty cruel thing to say to someone who's been in my daughter's life for 10+ years. ) in response. Then I told him he'll find out. After he broke up with her mom, she pushed him out in favor of her new husband, and Tell husband that his words were disrespectful of both our marriage and our home. Anyone who sided with him deserves to be disowned by you and your husband. Story 1 Ask your friend why she feels like you should settle for being his lowest priority, why you should want to be with a man who feels that family life means he's wasting his life, and why you should be blamed for everything because he's too much of a coward to grow up and be a husband and father and too much of a coward and a people-pleaser to set my mom remarried when i was 7, and she and my stepdad went on to have 3 more kids much younger than me (-7 years, -11 years, -14 years). When they came home, my husband said a woman complimented him for "being a good dad" because he was walking our baby. After some reflection and back and forths, we ended up having a videocall the 4 of us (Tim and I, Callie and Sal) just this past weekend. Even to primary school kids the maths wasn't mathing, which was our first step in discovering our dad wasn't his genetic father. Eventually, I responded “Well, I do, given the two degrees and all!”. Edit #2: the post was her husband saying she didn’t deserve a valentines gift this year because she’s been “crazy” due to hormones, despite her giving him a gift. Your clinginess is driving your former best friend even farther away. Taking money from a ten year old is shameful. My dad had an affair with Kate and mom and him divorced. The tone in which he posed the questions is what bothered me. Well it's obvious your son wanted your attention and there is something going on with him and his step sister, but instead of figuring it out, you thought he might leave your alone and go live with his father. If he comes back you should tell him to apologize. I’m aware that from the title alone makes me the asshole but hear me out. So his dad lived a decently miserable lifeso my husbands mind frame was “if I marry this woman and we have children, I will loose her and then I’ll be forced to marry someone who isn’t my soulmate” for quite awhile. Making their son sound like an uncaring father (even though it appears he is) is more likely to undermine her cordial relationship with in-laws than make them have a talk with their son. I showed up at the restaurant expecting a quiet dinner and a heart to heart, instead I found out that my father’s fraternity had rented out the whole damn place for a twenty five year reunion. Didn’t. Seems like your husband didn't step up so you overstepped and are blaming his ex for not accommodating your preferences. He immediately accused me of If he's as reckless as you say then he's gonna die one day and KERCHING, you've won a vineyard! Ryebread095 • 7 mo. AITA for telling my husband I don’t want his son in our house. Bill is now married and lives nearby with his wife. It’s not the kid’s fault that his mom had an affair. I did not want to admit it because I knew my husband's story and did not want to make it seem like didn't I care about how he or his sister felt. Over the weekend we attended to one of them kids' birthday party. At first, I tried to ignore it, but it just. Also my husband was more insistent on his life A little context, my parents split when I was a year old and my father eventually remarried and had/raised other children. movie_hater • 7 mo. AITA that i told my husband to stop supporting his adult daughter? Not the A-hole. r/AmItheAsshole. Not the A-hole. NTA for the name, YTA for not telling the father that he was a father. so I feel like things have gotten out of hand and the problem got bigger. He told me the adoption would mean the world to her and would be the biggest help while she grieves. You said: I don't like him very much right now either. Since husband has implied I am her caregiver but doesn't allow me to make parenting decisions in my household, I will no longer act as a caregiver. I yelled at my husband that he is a terrible father for telling Leah that when he knew how she’d react. 5 and 5 months). Our girl loved it. They showed that he was the father and my husband had this shocked, kinda mortified look on his face with his eyes wide as he stared at it. You should've considered this before marrying Dave. I (30f) have been married to my husband for almost seven years. We get along fine, mostly. She asks my husband for help over the simplest things and barely talks to me anymore. Most times she'll knock, ask if my husband is home and if I say no, she tells me to let him know she needs Life has gotten pretty hectic since I last posted. Pristine-Pea700. She would fuss about it on Facebook and I almost spit out my drink when her husband's ex chimed in and reminded my cousin that she got him by his cheating and kept losing him by it. My dad decided that now I need to give her what she wants. He isn't actually doing self care by doing fuck all and letting you do all the housework, and he's gaslighting you after your dad died to make you the bad guy. She apparently married before the baby was even born and her husband did not want her to contact update My husband just told us that he'll be spending christmas with his family saying he needs to be around his dad anyway. I got annoyed then he shrugged his shoulder saying he'd just ignore him then. I think it hurts his feelings that our son doesn't like his grandparents, but i find them very difficult to like, so i can't blame him. You don’t have to start hanging out with him, but you were selfish to not suck it up and visit your husband in the hospital. I did absolutely nothing for him or the house. Tessa was mortified to the point of tears and Leah reacted by calling her a “stupid little whore” and telling her to get out of her life forever. ago. Who wants to hang around with someone who berates them for not hanging out enough, and then getting mad when they have plans with their girlfriend. While his mother was always absent to their emotional needs, or that’s what I understood from how he used to describe her to me. He's been picking on me my entire life because he thinks it's all in good fun. So we do the test and we did our Zoom session when our results were in. ADMIN MOD. My husband said no and that it is his job to put him in uncomfortable decisions so he can grow. Funerals are a solemn occasion. My husband has two teenagers with his ex-wife Lyndsey (40f) and they have been divorced for 11 years. You really need to start establishing boundaries and tell him that he can't just have your daughter when its convenient for him. Original post. When a spouse dies, their property typically goes to the living spouse. Very absent and cheated on his wife a lot. My mom's husband has a daughter but he hasn't seen her in years. We filmed her wearing it and thanking my father and his wife, and sent them the video. Update1 - 22nd February 2024. It’s like saying waffles have legs… it sounds unbelievable and if I don’t see it with my own eyes, I’m not believing it. That means you didn't like how he was acting, not that you didn't like him as a person in general. Don't follow in his footsteps. I think he shouldn’t leave me alone with our new baby for a whole weekend. To my stepdaughter I am dad's wife. No-Raspberry-9684. Let your FIL worry about criminal prosecution and eventually going to jail because of what he has done. My kid adores his father and they look pretty much alike. Some ask me for an update, so here it is. It sounds like everything the friend said was true, at least for the last couple of decades of his life. Put sardines in the curtain rods. I want to start by admitting, that I have always wanted to meet my husband's father and that I have brought up Grampa to my kids more than a few times. Our son came early, a month and a half - we spent three weeks in the NICU and it was a very emotional time for me/us. He met me at the door and told me to act like we’re a happy family in front of his old friends. No one seems to have skills anymore and it seems that they have this preconceived notion of what a man should be, but then act like the OPs husband. The situation doesn't sound good for the kids at all (even if nanny is a great person, the kids need their father's attention, not the nanny's) or fair to OP . No bad blood. the kids said they will just go to their dad since they and my husband are still not talking. I cook for my parents often and if he's quiet during dinner, I'll say, "you didn't like that, did you?" The most he'll say is, "it's not my favorite. For context: I (46F) didn’t know this until after we started dating but my husband (46M) got bullied by the “popular kids” at his high school for years. My stepmother didn't reply, nor do I expect her to. I'm now 25 and engaged. Only The Most Interesting AITA Posts ADMIN MOD. My husband found out and told Leah. He was too attached to his father, but his father was always away. You’re not the asshole. So I told Tim all this. 133K subscribers in the AITAFiltered community. For better or for worse, he's his son and your step son. You married him knowing full well how his son treats you. You are acting like a jealous former girlfriend, so get over it and find someone else to hang with. Here it is : This is what my dad does. I (34f) have been married to my husband for 4 years, together for 7. Is it a tumor?: I don't know. So you can't be surprised if he still treats you poorly afterwards. We’ve done it every year since I can remember and it’s a fun family tradition for me. Their two teen girls saw me as getting in the way of their parents getting back together, and they blamed me. For the OP: I think you are going to need counselling with your husband now that you can see his sexist/ill-informed attitude. The sister and father of your husband’s ex are also jerks for acting like it’s up to you what your husband does. 4. I scoffed a bit and said, "that's nice you were complimented for doing the bare minimum as a father. Your response to your husband was appropriate. I (39f) am married to Dave (44m), and he has a son named Avery (19m) and an ex wife named Dianna (42f. "When I became a real man, I put aside unmanly things, like caring about if people thought I was manly or not. the old cliche of being cinderella was pretty true as my daily chores included cleaning my siblings rooms, doing their laundry, etc, along with the rest of the house cleaning. I responded in a light, playful tone, but he did not take it well at all. Concluded as per OOP. The two of them met when my husband was 16 and from the way they always tell the story, they've been inseparable ever since. I have a 7 year old from a previous marriage. I felt like he favoured his second wife's children over his first and it honestly showed with me as he made comments my whole childhood like " you look to much like your mother" or just outright telling me I wasn't his child, I have 2 older siblings that look identical to I’d be petty. Most of the people at my prom couldn’t wait to get away from their parents and on with the night. Anyways my mother, who heard the whole thing go down, told me that I did the right thing by shouting at him but I should not have mentioned his father. There is no father/daughter aspect to a prom. ) Avery has always been hostile towards me, and blamed me for his parents’ divorce, despite his dad not meeting me This happened two days before my wedding. 5 years and we have two children (2. It’s snowy here and it’s getting on for 2am and I’m getting That's your dad. AutoModerator. He won't do that. My husband has a 12yo son Abel and a 13yo daughter Destiny. My sister “Nicole” (20F) has pretty dark skin and 3c natural hair. AITA for not visiting my dad anymore Edit: Some people have said to go to family counseling. Your ex is acting like that cool single uncle who sometimes will come visit the nephew but will leave as soon as it becomes a nuisance (fine for a uncle, not fine for a dad). He has had many relationships since separating from my mother, including 4 fiancés, and none of them have turned out okay. I told him that I feel betrayed and repulsed by him for using one child as a trial for the next. " If I don't ask, he won't say anything. AITA for not letting my mom's husband act as father of the bride. I have known my mom's husband since I was 15, 5 years after my dad died. An ex of my younger brother’s reached out and told him he was the father of her 8-year-old. Either on his laptop or sleeping. NTA. Because of that, shotgun weddings are actually pretty common. 2- the husband cheated on OP with Brittney and she got pregnant. He did it, he deserves to be punished for it. Not her weekend. My husband and I just had our first child together after a couple years of trying and dealing with infertility. Like I said above, I asked him if he needed to see someone. Then when my therapist started calling him out on his parenting he didn't want to go anymore and my mom had to take me. '. Make your dad a tinder account, have a female friend call your mother and say they've been intimate, she found out he's married and she thought your mother deserves to know. And it's been now three separate occasions in which we've been all together, since my son was born, where the topic of marriage and parenting comes up and they gush over their partners but the moment I say mine is a wonderful father, they both exchange looks and one of them says something snarky and mean like "Yeah, to only one of his children Sometimes I read these AITA about men this age and wonder WTF happened. Fast forward and we are now home and getting used A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. One time his 5yo was calling for him to help him with something in the shower. AITA for saying “I told you so” to my brother about his bio daughter. Efficient-Roof5522. One still won’t talk to my husband or me. It wasn’t simple teasing but intense bullying and it really affected him for years. ADMIN. He and his ex-wife separated during her pregnancy with their daughter (13) and divorced after she turned 1. This seems to be a reoccurring theme here, boys who want to be men but act just like a immature child. AITA - for telling my husband that I no longer want my son around "The Team"? Not the A-hole. The only correct answer is "I'm sorry I hurt you. Walk away again if the subject comes up. My husband made the mistake of asking me, for the umpteenth time, what I did all day while the kids were in school. I’d hide his gifts and get him a $20 household gift. We have a 2 month old son. But when you boil down the root cause to “a 9 year old doesn’t like being around their step-siblings”, that family need to work that out with those kids. My father (M60) would respond to almost everything I said with “hmm, I don’t know about that…”. Apr 18, 2024 · For a couple of weeks now, she's been asking my husband to be her handyman. You can be so much better than him, but you have to choose to be better. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I told my husband he couldn’t go on a trip for work. My husband's is a dentist he's not home I will try to make it short. And I do feel like shit about it. AITA for leaving my husband for a Christmas trip to Hawaii with our kids. My father is exactly like your husband. They announced their pregnancy a while ago and my husband was absolutely overjoyed for them. My cousin got with her husband by him cheating on his then wife. It all sounds so obviously disingenuous. My youngest sister freaked when they knocked on the door and told them they couldn’t come in and our cousin would be back soon. They had lost touch not long after the baby had been conceived. Your husband needs to act like an adult again and help around the house. Go to the police. My husband has no issue with this and neither did I until a week or so ago. My parents were married and had me (16f) and my brother (18m). Given that he doesn't act like this with his coworkers, or his family, and only jokes around with his friends, I'm willing to bet that this is an indication that he's trying to force this fetish on me nonconsensually, or trying to get me to leave. My husband said his mom would freak over how rude that was, so i tried to compromise on a book. We decided to put aside our old grievances, be friends, and raise our child happily. In now three occasions in conversations where I said my husband is a wonderful father, one of them said something snarky and mean like "Yeah, to only one of his children". UPDATE: AITA for snapping at my In-Laws for saying my husband "ruined" his life? UPDATE. neither of the kids are happy with how things turned out. That he left you with children to wrangle that weren't even yours, on a day that should be celebrating you while he did things that he wanted to do. Every year my family spends our Christmas in Hawaii. OP found out and decided to stay with her husband if Brittney agrees to give up the child. When he complained about his lack of gift, I’d say he’s acting like a ungrateful, spoiled brat and urge him to get rid of his attitude and accept what I’m giving. And you didn't say you didn't like him as in just that in general you didn't like your son. Fill some mason jars with raw chicken and milk, hide them in random places. AITA for wanting to divorce my husband for trying to cheat. We live right next door to my husband's best friend. " Full stop. Tell daughter that if I am acting as a caregiver instead of her mother, I will have equal say in parenting decisions. SOURCE: My now-husband’s ex cheated, & he filed for divorce almost immediately after. And you are NTA and did nothing wrong here other than point out a little crudely that he keeps breaking boundaries in your marriage. My husband was married before we met. Husband’s father was, in short, a piece of shit. It almost felt like he was making a really shitty joke. So my husband was thrilled and I agreed but I wanted to be on Zoom with the therapist when we received the results so we could talk it out with her there, which he was fine with. Sit him down and tell him what an utter dissapointment this mothers day was because all he did was do things that HE wanted and what were fun for HIM. I'm on postpartum leave. Original - 20th February 2024. Currently, the daughter lives with her mom and is asking him for help I (36f) have been married to my husband Nick (42m) for almost 6 years now. They also have another daughter. I was excited to be a mother and Liam was, to my surprise, excited to be a father. So I told him, again. He’s missing a 2min photo op before prom for pictures that will almost never be looked at again. Stop. My father sent us an audio ("you're welcome, honey", "I love you", etc. Yeah, my son had blue eyes at birth, and they changed to solid brown (like my husband's) by his first birthday. If he's not acting like a dad, then you have no obligation to treat him like one. YTA, figure it out, that's what parents job is. " And will often add, "but I didn't have to cook it, so thank you. I told him his words mean literally nothing while his behavior is the same. He picks on everyone, but nobody is allowed to say anything remotely unkind to him ever without him taking it personally. It's not that hard to be polite with people you care about. And He's paying for It. Ellie (11f) was the result of the affair and Tommy (9m) was born when dad married Kate. We moved in here a bit over a month ago. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! And then i argued why he doesn't love her as much as his boys, I can't believe it he said "she just a stranger for him"and I was furious, I said some not nice things to him like he was a biased man and a bad father, he said that was really mean thing to say and we slept not facing each other, first time in 6 years. My husband, 27m, has a long time friend who we'll call Bill - 31m. Looks like the friend went out of their way to avoid saying “he was a good father”. Since moving in, this dude is calling my husband multiple times a day to go off somewhere with him (store, another buddies house, downstairs to smoke, have a fire, etc). My dad recently told me that he's planning on getting married to his fiancé in about a year. Every woman he's been with has been crazy, selfish or a drug addict. My husband and I exchanged the earrings for the matching necklace during the weekend. My cousin is always shocked and upset each and every time he cheated on her. Having a child out of wedlock is very uncommon and looked down upon, even more than divorce. That 10 years of knowing her and 9ish years of her being his wife means she has been my mom whether I like it or not and I need to start showing her that I love and care about her. It sounds like your "husbands children" don't have a relationship with your mother and that it would be strange for them to be with her while their sibling is being ADMIN. She was doubting herself on whether she was wrong to feel upset by him not giving her anything, so she made an ‘AITA’ post. In fact pictures will still be taken. AITA for telling my husband to stop living in the past? Not the A-hole. e incompatible parenting styles). Anything else is him not taking responsibility for what he did. NTA your dead husband and your son’s father were homies. And surprise, surprise, the paternity test says he’s 99% likely to be the father. For me, my father was more of the parent to spoil so you’ll love him even if it’s at the expense of your own good. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! ADMIN MOD. He thinks I’m an asshole because I’m keeping him from the amazing opportunity to further his business. He’s not giving her away at a wedding. Although he got nothing to do. AITA for telling my husband to talk to his mother re: our newborn. On the bright side for you both, if you divorce him and someone moves out, he could do whatever he wants for his birthday month with the added bonus of you not having to pick up the slack… 😉🤣 If his parents and friends did this for his birthday, send him back to them for them to put up with his ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS expectations. It sounds like your husband is just very immature and is gaslighting you a little. YTA. He says he loves me but all I hear in my head is his voice screaming “fucking bitch” at me. " I'll admit, after I said it, I realized how it came off and I apologized, saying that I only meant it as a societal standard AITA for saying my sister probably has a different dad. His father was getting drunk and two of my husband's younger siblings 13M and 15M were running around making a racket and fighting. Welcome to our Octopus Reddit YouTube channel!Join us as we delve into captivating narratives, intriguing questions, and thought-provoking commentary. He left the house and hasn’t come home since. 1 day ago · Parents were celebrating 10th wedding anniversary and he was about to turn 11. After me and my husband had kids we had to reorganize our family Christmas plans because his parents r/AmItheAsshole. During the week with talk to our kids and asked them (without being obvious) how they have been treated by their grandparents; we got positive responses (they have been treated well, to be I my mind there are 2 possible scenarios: 1- the husband had sex with Brittney with an oral agreement that she would give the baby to OP and husband. Four years ago I was looking through my husbands phone to find a recipe that he wanted me to make that he had his sister-in-law send him (honest). My dad's family rallied around my half siblings and tried to make up for the loss of their mother. I couldn't ignore it. I called him a terrible person and told him he didn’t deserve to be a father. My husband and I also have a 14 month old son together. He acted like an ass about your son for no reason (your son being tall doesn’t make your husband any shorter) and then acted like it’s not what happened. His children and his weekend. My parents left me and my sisters in the hotel alone with our cousin. Your husband is responsible for his feelings. Told my husband it was Fend For Yourself Night, every night. My husband (54M) keeps supporting his daughter (27F) who’s a single mom. That was a horrible thing to do, mean spirited and selfish. Resulting in me handling it. Last week My family and I went over to my In-laws for dinner and it was going well, there weren't any issues and the food was good. We moved to his hometown some months ago and started spending more time with his family. 🙄 not saying it was reasonable, but I could see this AITA being real. His weekend. A year later Kate died. Even if he gets over the fact you made the "mistake" of being pregnant with a girl, some of that same sexism may spill over into how you raise her (i. She is married and her husband (Sal) has been in their daughter's (Ellie) life since she was about 2, she calls him dad. Kids aren't stupid, they just act like it sometimes lol. If he just got me a crap gift, the rest would go back without his knowledge. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. 1. I married my husband 9 years ago and from day one I struggled to get along with his then 6yo son. First of all, and to get out the way, my husband and I got married 2 years ago. I (47F) am very frustrated about this and thinking long hard and want to know if my feelings are valid. 2 updates - Short. My brothers (29M and 23M) and me (26F) are also super white and super blonde. but I don't regret it either. My husband vowed to never be like him and gets very heated at the mention of his dad. Just cut him off completely and move on. My stepdaughter is Melody (15f) and my stepson is Jace (13m). He put me in therapy a few years back, because I wasn't doing my homework, seriously that's the reason. Your husband is being a bit of a dick to the kid if he really is the only father figure in the kid’s life. Nick and Lyndsey have shared custody of my stepkids. He needs to find a way to earn so "gas money". Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. " and started laughing at the way he looked. ca lp cd om lf kx eh ad bq vn