And when that happens… you start getting angry at her. He was already in a relationship with another woman when we started dating, and Dec 31, 2018 · Hi Doc, I'm going to make this a bit of a short story, starting with the present, moving on to the past, and ending with some questions on how to approach my love-life's future, if you don't mind. They may have been dying inside for a chance to tell you how they feel. One of my female coworkers said that she thought he was flirting with her and she expressed interest in him. The problem is that he's polyamorous and I'm not. Jan 7, 2022 · Dear Dr. You’re dealing with what’s known as a false dichotomy – the idea that you have only two options. Honestly, EE, unless she’s proposing getting together for a specific event at a specific time and place, there’s no real reason to go out of your way to say “no”. NerdLove, the only advice column that helps you find real love Aug 29, 2012 · Ask Dr. I (non-binary, femme-presenting, 27) went to a local kink event with my best friend (m/29) with benefits where we played with another couple, an attractive woman in her early 30s and her slightly less hot but still good looking husband (late 30s I think?). You FEEL desire for her, not that you NEED her. I honestly don't see it. One of the male friends acted inappropriate at a party, after my girlfriend ate a plate of oysters, with everyone making jokes about oysters being an aphrodisiac, he grabbed her wrist, straightened out her arm, pulled up her sleeve to check her pulse, so he could see how horny she Jan 5, 2024 · DEAR NOT SO ANONYMOUS: I’m sure you’ve seen my standard disclaimer that Dr. He doesn’t mean to be; he’s socially awkward and clearly has anxiety issues. Apr 6, 2018 · Hello all you beautiful urchins of impending doom, and welcome to Ask Dr. NerdLove, the only dating advice column that can calculate the exact Twinkie value of the psychokinetic energy of romantically frustrated geeks. NerdLove: 10 years ago I (a woman) was introduced to a male co-worker at a company that I no longer work for. This includes trying to get out and meet people, and going on dates, and activities up to- and including sex. Your typical shy, anti-social, Star Trek watching, Star Wars toy collecting, can't watch a movie unless it has a spaceship in it, plays video games for 10 hours straight nerd. And contrary to the idea that larger is better, penis length doesn’t correspond with female satisfaction; girth is far Nov 26, 2018 · Dear Dr. His behavior is off, in a way that makes people uncomfortable. So he’s going to have to be the person you ask. NERDLOVE: I am a 33 year old heterosexual Caucasian male living in the Midwest. In this case, you’re being told that you can take the Red Pill or… you can die alone and unloved. So before you do anything drastic, let’s break this down. If you've got a question you need answered, now's definitely the time to ask. NERDLOVE: I am a 35 year old man living in a Western country who has never been in a relationship. This week, it’s all about the Apr 19, 2024 · Fear is the mind-killer that brings total obliteration. She says I'm not as funny or as fun as I used to be and that I treat her more as a friend than as a girlfriend. May 28, 2020 · Harris O'Malley. My girlfriend who is 33 is very unattractive. Learn how to improve your social skills, overcome your sticking points and find the love you want. When we started chatting, he said that he was looking for Mar 14, 2022 · DEAR DR. Sep 6, 2021 · The entire concept of shit tests is predicated on the idea that women look for men of equal or higher social status or “sexual market value” and are on the look-out for guys who are “faking” their status. Jun 25, 2022 · Ask Dr. NERDLOVE: I am a 23-year-old male (by the time you read this though, I might be 24) who will be graduating from undergrad May 2024. Ask Dr. A confession of love, however, tends to ask for a lot more definitive answers than they may have. My younger brother works as an engineer and is doing well and successful with his job. There's optimistic phrases for people like me, such as 'late bloomer,' or 'don't Apr 10, 2024 · What’s important are two things: 1) he’s not in great shape, emotionally and 2) he’s not interested. We felt an intense connection on multiple fronts. Nerdlove: Help, I’ve Fallen In Love With A Cam Girl. One day, you’re going to wake up and you’re going to realize that not only does it not hurt any more, but it hasn’t hurt for a while. May 13, 2024 · Ask Dr. One month later I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. That’s not what I want to ask about though, you’ve covered most of the basics on social skills, presentation, and building confidence elsewhere. Dear Doctor NerdLove, I am currently in the process of ending a 4-year relationship that has been a marriage for the past year. 5 inches in diameter. That’s seven different kinds of bullshit from cholera-infected bulls. NerdLove, I grew up in a religious household, one that strongly believed in the idea of no sex before marriage. NerdLove is a relationship expert who offers dating tips, coaching and books. Get early access to my columns, exclusive content, a Patron-only Discord and more! Dec 24, 2021 · Everything men do nowadays to try to act on their attraction to women is scrutinized to oblivion. Angry for things she hasn’t done, which she isn’t even thinking of. But aside from making me feel momentarily better, I still don't feel like I'm really ready for dating. So the new girl started up at work. I have always thought of myself as fat and unattractive, so in relationships, I have found myself to feel as if I put in much more effort into the relationship than the other person, to Jun 18, 2014 · It’s important to deal with these feelings, with that lack of self-esteem. There’re two things you need to do here. Got a question you’d like answered? Got a question you’d like answered? Oct 25, 2022 · Confidence isn’t the absence of fear or worry; only the truly delusional never feel fear or nerves or get anxious. Nerdlove, Longtime reader and huge fan of your work. They may think you’re cute as hell but aren’t sure about anything else. Because she was out of the country a lot etc we couldn't meet up often and so, after a few meets and talking constantly by phone/text we finally slept together a few weeks ago. She didn’t take it well and said no Apr 16, 2024 · It’s encouragement and positive engagement, cheering them on and celebrating them. Join a Pokemon Go meetup. NerdLove, I've been listening and reading your works for a while now, and I have found your insights and advice really helpful —and your obvert feminism and repudiation of pseudoscience wonderfully refreshing, considering what the standards of the industry sometimes seem to be. Nerdlove! I am a 17 year old nerd girl who needs some help. But there’re those words again: educated. That may be selfish, but you aren’t obligated to get serious with someone just because they want it. Her combination Sep 29, 2017 · Hey Dr. A generic “let’s get together sometime” isn’t an invitation that needs an immediate RSVP – it’s more of a polite space-filler. That’s all you really need to know, here. I have no desire to remarry and I’m not sure that I ever want to live with a man again. About 2 1/2 years ago I married a nerd. I'm not 'connecting' with Apr 3, 2015 · Dear Dr. Dec 28, 2023 · But possibly isn’t the same as “is”. He is not only affectionate, but appreciates my affection towards him Jul 17, 2013 · Dear Dr. Just a few information straight away Dec 9, 2016 · Field experience is a crucial part of improvement; theory by itself can devolve into emotional masturbation very quickly. Mar 6, 2015 · Enough’s Enough. NerdLove: I matched with this girl exactly three months ago on NYE and we started off with great chemistry. For a long time in my life, I was attracted to and dated men that I found intellectually awesome, kind and gentle, and able to make me laugh. We are compatible on nearly every level, the chemistry between us is amazing, he loves my kids from a previous marriage, and we've been discussing the possibility of getting married. So far, he’s been evasive, blaming his lack of interest on his heart condition. He lives in another city so we are not able to meet much and he is an introvert as well. go! Yo Doc, Recently, you’ve been recommending working out as part of your prescriptions for improving yourself post-break-up and pre-dating Oct 12, 2022 · This is a pre-meditated infidelity under circumstances that frankly, don’t really make the cut for “well, I can understand why…”. Really great guy, he’s decent, soft spoken, loving and caring. And it's been a disappointment, but I've been doing my best to move on. I was married for 12 years. The more that you can give her a safe, non-judgemental space to unpack her thoughts on the matter, the more comfortable she’ll be sharing them with you. I am confident in my decision to end the marriage; we have been drifting apart, the sex is rare and uninteresting, we have Aug 23, 2011 · My girlfriend of 4 years and I are on the verge of breaking up. Making matters more complicated is that my friends just told me that she is cheating on him. But when you do, you need to remember that the people you’re talking and flirting with are your fellow human beings, and leading people on with the intent of letting it go nowhere is a bad idea. I’ve been in a relationship for about a year with a really great guy. August 29, 2012 by Dr. Nerdlove | January 26th, 2024. Nerdlove | April 8th, 2024. First: you and your girlfriend need to drill down as to what’s going on with her sex life. Notice the difference in the way those emotions are framed. I met a girl some months ago who's brilliant - there is almost nothing I don't like about her and we hit it off brilliantly. I admit that recently I've been feeling generally bored with my life and may be showing it in my attitude, but she's the best thing to happen to me ever. And even though I might fall outside of the usual demographic of who you usually give advice to I’m hoping you will answer my question. However my profound love is not an interest of high fantasy literature, video games, movies, or anime, but an overzealous devotion to heavy metal music. It is, for all Jun 26, 2014 · Hello, Internet! Welcome to Ask Dr. He is intellectually stimulating in a way my former partners weren't, he is caring (puts up Sep 1, 2011 · Today on Ask Dr. That can be hard to get to line up. NERDLOVE: This is a platonic letter, so I don’t know how into this you’ll be. NerdLove | 30 Comments. Dr Nerdlove, I know this blog is mostly geared towards geeky guys, but I’m a geek girl with a problem. And more to the point, the fact that he’s not in great shape should be the sign for you to not make him the focus of your interest. You maximize your odds of meeting people as best you can, but there’s always going to be an element of chance. . Nerdlove | May 9th, 2024. Nerdlove | March 20th, 2024. NERDLOVE: For the last 2+ years, I’ve (32M) taken a lot of steps to try and improve my social life. Plus, I worried that we Jan 19, 2018 · Hi Dr. NERDLOVE: So, my bf and I have been dating for, maybe… 4 months. The average penis length is 5. Nerdlove | May 14th, 2024. Support Me On Patreon. Doubly so if – as it seems to be in your case – that behavior is tied into May 10, 2024 · DEAR DR. Wait until she’s finished, then ask clarifying questions, if you have any. I’m a 44 year old woman 2 years post divorce trying to navigate the dating world. So it’s possible that this is what’s going on; you’re a friend and she’s being a cheer squad for you. Oct 13, 2017 · Dear Dr. Dec 19, 2023 · Ask Dr. Sep 5, 2019 · Ask Dr. Dr. Published May 28, 2020. I haven’t even gotten as far as a first date or kissing a woman, which as I’m sure you can imagine is rather frustrating. We talk a lot about what it takes to become someone that women want to date – working from the internal to the external, from attitude to presentation. NERDLOVE: I am 23 year old adult who has; what might be to some; a nerdy obsession. Nerdlove | March 8th, 2024. It doesn’t take very long before fear becomes certainty and that in turn becomes bitterness and resentment. This week, it’s all about the Jan 15, 2014 · Ask Dr. Nerdlove is Kotaku’s bi-weekly dating column, hosted by the one and only Harris O’Malley, AKA Dr. Nerdlove is Kotaku's bi-weekly advice column for matters of the heart, hosted by the one and only Harris O'Malley, AKA Dr. Read more. Nerdlove. Then it’s always doggie style never nothing else. Sep 13, 2019 · Hi Dr Nerd Love. DEAR DR. That may be true, it may be a face-saving white lie (especially if he’s having Jan 3, 2024 · Dear Dr. NERDLOVE: I will try to keep this as brief as I can. NerdLove, I'm hoping you can help set my mind at ease. Jun 25, 2020 · Ask Dr. You have two problems here – first, you’re putting too much stock in what assholes think of you. He always wants oral first and sometimes this goes on a while, but I never get oral myself. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. If your family is giving you shit for being a virgin, then you’re May 24, 2019 · Accept that yeah, this sucks… but it’s going to suck less over time. I'm a 32 year old web applications programmer, and I have had no real experience with love, sex, or even dating. NerdLove, I’ve learned a lot reading your blog, so I was wondering if you could help me out. Hell, go chase (or get chased by) zombies and see if you’ll survive the zombie apocalypse. I am 25 years old, never been in a relationship, living at home, working part time and struggling to stay sane. Image: Shutterstock. NerdLove: D-I-V-O-R-C-E-D. We've been flirting for probably about a year now. She was doing a similar job to me, and her desk was right next to mine, and I offered to walk her through everything she needed to know, and I asked her out to coffee — not as a date, but so she could ask questions in Jun 26, 2013 · You’re young, you’re horny and you’re surrounded by folks who talk a lot of shit and it’s making you feel like you’re the last virgin on Earth. I'm not 'connecting' with May 8, 2015 · Hi Dr Nerdlove My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years. NerdLove: Let ‘Em Down Easy. NERDLOVE: I think I have a problem and I don’t know if it’s one you’ve handled before. You FEEL desperate, rather than you ARE desperate. The podcast will return when I'm back in town and meanwhile, I'll be answering some quick questions for Ask Dr. Apr 9, 2014 · Hi there Dr. Jan 4, 2022 · Ask Dr. Mar 12, 2024 · Yes, it’s good to give your matches time to feel comfortable with meeting up in person, but the point of online dating is to date. We started having the best sex of our lives and then discovered we were meant for each other. Or to put it another way: “be afraid and do it anyway”. Got a question you’d like answered? Got a question you’d like answered? Mar 20, 2024 · by Harris O'Malley. NerdLove, I'm a long time reader and I've never needed personalised advice before (happy enough to read your advice to others), but here we are. My partner and I are non-monogamous, and I know that it would be ok for me to be with someone else, but I’m scared to. Thank you for everything. NerdLove: I am 23 year old adult who has; what might be to some; a nerdy obsession. One day you’re going to wake up and you’re going to realize that the pain has reduced itself to a dull ache. Everyone knows that now, except him Jul 28, 2017 · A serious relationship with a single parent is a “love me, love my kids” situation… and your squeeze doesn’t. Nerdlove | May 17th, 2024. A bit over a decade ago, I had met a young lady while on Xbox Live while playing good ol’ Call of Duty. Nerdlove | November 22nd, 2023. It’s something of a shame because he’s got a good heart and he’s incredibly lonely. The second is that she’s into you and flirting in a low-key way in the hopes that you’ll notice and make a move already. In the time that I’ve been here, I’ve gotten involved in a lot of Mar 9, 2017 · Ask Dr. Jan 22, 2014 · Ask Dr. Hello, Internet! Welcome to Ask Dr. NerdLove is not a real doctor, NSA. I believe she only dates me because she Oct 27, 2021 · Apr 20, 2022. Do you have any advice on how to show her Jan 2, 2013 · Doctor's Note: I'm on vacation until the 12th of January. Basically, I’ve been desperately madly in love probably three or four times in my life. I’m in a new city, and don’t already have friends here. Some of the folks you meet may not be in the right place, for you or for them. Recently it made me think about a few experiences I made back as a young adult. I work a federal government job with decent pay and good benefits, I have several hobbies including music and more. I’ve always found the advice you give your readers to be well thought out and sometimes with the necessary amount of tough love for when it’s needed. Dear Dr. Trust me, you’re not. He's very cute, friendly and I'm quite interested in him but the problem is that he has a girlfriend. by Harris O'Malley. NerdLove I am a 22 year old Apr 5, 2024 · Dear Dr. NerdLove, the dating advice column with the skill of gymnastics and the kill of karate. Men who are just hoping to meet a partner (sexual or romantic) are met with some zinger like “Women are more than just potential dates or f--ks, you know”, as if being interested in a woman automatically dehumanizes her. Plus, it doesn’t sound like you want something more serious. 1 inches erect when measured from the base and approximately 1. NERDLOVE: I’m 22M and I have a crush on a woman (23F) from my university and we were quite good friends when, for some reason, I started developing feelings for her after I broke up with my ex. NerdLove I’m on a strict deadline, so we’re doing this lightning round style and clearing out some of the quicker questions to help catch up on the email backlog. By. May 30, 2024. Experienced. During that time, I moved to a city that is supposed to have a lot more people my age than the small town I was in previously. NerdLove, So here's my story: I've been in the US for a study abroad for nearly 5 months now and I have a friend-who-is-a-boy (as opposed to a boyfriend). I’m super attracted to geeks, mostly because of the whole similar interests thing. NerdLove is going to be on a limited hiatus. If you’re going to study Buddhism, then I suggest you go to an actual temple in your area and see if they have any classes. Hello, all you Twitternet spooklets of sexcrime, and welcome to Ask Dr. I try to support Jan 15, 2016 · While I’ll be the first to remind you that Dr. Knowing more. NERDLOVE: Brief context, working towards dating again, it’s been a few years since my last relationship ended. That’s pretty much the definition of a dealbreaker. Aug 28, 2015 · Dear Doc, I am 10 months into a relationship with an absolutely wonderful guy. Well, we’re going to add to that: despite the sheer volume of Law and Order reruns I’ve consumed over my lifetime, Dr. NerdLove | 24 Comments. NERDLOVE: I’ve written to you in the past with dating questions and you’ve been super helpful, but now I find myself in a new situation unrelated to my romantic life I have no idea how to navigate and I was hoping you could help me too. Mar 13, 2024 · Ask Dr. I noticed your site is very sex positive, so I thought you might be able to give some advice from a non-judgmental standpoint. Nerdlove | December 19th, 2023 DEAR DR. NerdLove. Only I will remain. May 17, 2024 · Doctor’s Note: Sometimes I get letters that don’t merit a response or are so short that they aren’t practical for a full column. January 22, 2014 by Dr. Published August 27, 2015. Jan 26, 2024 · by Harris O'Malley. NerdLove is emphatically NOT a lawyer, nor a paralegal or even a particularly talented bulls--t artist. You need the right person in the right place, at the right time. I was happy because this is the first normal, stable Mar 22, 2019 · Give her the verbal space to do so, without pushing or trying to fill in the gaps for her. Got a question you'd like answered? Got a question you Nov 4, 2016 · It’s ok. We had slightly flirty banter between us and at one point he invited some other coworkers and me to a concert. Got a question you’d like answered? Got a question you’d like answered? Feb 19, 2020 · By changing how you describe those feelings, you change your relationship to them. And here we…. I’m writing to you because my “college experience” has been less than stellar and I don’t know how to move on and what I should do as I Feb 1, 2024 · DEAR DR. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. So today we’re going to clear a few out in an advice lightning round …. I always took it as 'play' flirting, although he would occasionally mention that I hadn't given him my number, his weekend could have been better (wink, wink), etc. Feb 11, 2019 · Hi Dr Nerdlove! I'm an older-than-I-want-to-say woman. This upset me pretty badly, made worse when my family found out. NerdLove: I’m Too Scared To Let Myself Be Polyamorous. NerdLove, I’m a geeky girl who needs some help figuring out how to bring up an awkward topic with her boyfriend. ”. NerdLove is Kotaku’s bi-weekly dating column, hosted by the one and only Harris O’Malley, AKA Dr. Now with that in mind, here is my situation. We both are Indians, in India marriage is a hot topic pre 30 (She’s 28). Until then, Paging Dr. Or they may not be interested at all. As you have said sometimes geeks are shy, I’m pretty shy too, but I May 20, 2024 · DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I met a guy on Bumble. Nerdlove | January 4th, 2022. Nov 15, 2019 · Doctor's Note: Today's column includes discussion of sexual and emotional abuse. I am confident in my decision to end the marriage; we have been drifting apart, the sex is rare and uninteresting, we have Nov 22, 2023 · My Partner’s Weak Boundaries Are Hurting Our Relationship! by Harris O'Malley. Got a question you’d like answered? Got a question you’d like answered? Apr 10, 2024 · What’s important are two things: 1) he’s not in great shape, emotionally and 2) he’s not interested. NerdLove is not a real doctor of any kind1 but it’s pretty obvious to me that if this has been something that you’ve been doing as a child, it’s going to be something you’re going to keep doing as a grown-up. Get your local alt-weekly and make a list Feb 19, 2020 · By changing how you describe those feelings, you change your relationship to them. Got a question you’d like answered? Got a question you’d like answered? Mar 12, 2024 · Yes, it’s good to give your matches time to feel comfortable with meeting up in person, but the point of online dating is to date. This seems to be my down fall as I live smack dab in the Bible Belt. Apr 8, 2024 · Ask Dr. Oct 23, 2015 · Anderson is, frankly, kind of creepy. I've since had more experience (always feeling guilty), had in toxic relationships that I stayed in only to validate the activity Aug 27, 2015 · Ask Dr. Find a LARP group or a geek-themed pub-quiz. 17 hours ago · DEAR DR. Harris O'Malley. You FEEL attracted to her rather than you ARE attracted to her. Sure, you’re putting in…. There's a guy at my job who is the same age. Nov 30, 2018 · Dear Dr. I am a 35 year old heterosexual American woman. He became stepdad to my older two kids, and we've since had two more babies together, though one was lost at birth to a cord accident. The tradition of dating as we know it is a very recent phenomenon; it’s barely over a hundred years old. We connected immediately over Farscape and an epic scrabble game, and tied the knot 6 months from our first date, pregnant with our first child. Sep 15, 2011 · Here’s the hard (ha!) facts: most guys underestimate themselves and assume they’re smaller than average. I also have a teenage son at home whom I am very close to. He was already in a relationship with another woman when we started dating, and Apr 9, 2014 · Hi there Dr. Jun 15, 2018 · Yes, do that. There’s a quite cute blonde lass who works at a McDonald’s in Stirling, Scotland that I frequent and since she caught my eye, I said to her that I think that she’s attractive and asked if she’s single. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. May 17, 2024 · by Harris O'Malley. Little introduction to me: I’m 25 years old, Never had a relationship or even things like a first kiss, finished my engineering degree in 2021 and Aug 16, 2019 · Dear Dr. NERDLOVE: My trouble is that I don’t know how to go about dating because I don’t understand how to get to know potential partners and have them be positive towards me as well. Like when I asked other people, “Here’s what he did, do you think he like-likes me,” they all said yes. Again: knowing more and having experienced more often makes you that much more aware of what could go wrong or how things could fail. Apr 3, 2013 · Hello Dr. I think I’m bothered most about oral; he forces me Jan 16, 2024 · Dr. NerdLove is not a real doctor after all, so there isn’t as much that I can say about the issues you’ve had regarding going on testosterone, nor – as a cis man – do I have a lot that I can say about transitioning, de-transitioning or dealing with the process in either direction. I am a 27 year-old straight male that, one year after a friendly break-up that I've spent working on self Jul 28, 2017 · Ask Dr. I will face my fear. NerdLove, I really like your blog and think your advice is spot on. English is not my first language so I hope this post Nov 4, 2016 · It’s ok. NerdLove, I am dating an Asian girl that has several close male friends, she says they are more like brothers. Apr 16, 2014 · Hey Doc: So I've recently gotten out of a relationship at the beginning of February. I have my quirks, but I'm not really interested in anything he is. Dear Doctor NerdLove, I‘m a 30-year old university student from Germany and I've found your column quite helpful. NERDLOVE: I’m an independent woman, financially and otherwise. I was reluctant because I wasn't sure I was into him. Most courtship rituals, even in Western societies, tended to be more formal or rules-clad affairs and tended to be conducted in the homes of the folks involved. But there’re times when it feels like you’re in a classic Red Queen’s Race: running as fast as you can and getting nowhere. He's my best friend, a good provider, a great Mar 8, 2024 · I Don’t Know How To Stay Friends With My Crush. The only person who could answer this for you definitively, however, is your boyfriend. That means meeting up and going on dates, not talking for weeks or (in some cases, months) until you feel 100% sure she’ll say yes if you propose a date. Rather than, y’know, act like human beings, these theoretical women will instead “test” men by doing things like “giving them Apr 1, 2016 · Dr. NERDLOVE: I’ve been with my boyfriend 3 and a half years and sex has really changed this last year. NerdLove in lieu of the usual schedule. I haven’t dated/had sex in 8 years. This has been nagging at me for a while now and I would like to have an opinion. The day after that we met up and I got told that she was not quite over her Feb 19, 2016 · Logic has nothing to do with it. Jul 12, 2019 · Dating is a numbers game. NERDLOVE: Been friends with this fellow for nearly three years and he’s more affectionate with me than anyone else we know. I have been dating Alpha for three years and a half now. NerdLove, the only dating column that was born Jul 12, 2019 · Dating is a numbers game. I’m here to tell you: that’s bullshit. NerdLove: I am an older man who is 64. Nerdlove | March 13th, 2024. May 14, 2020 · Ask Dr. I had the feeling like someday we’d get together and it Feb 12, 2014 · Near Dr. He is not only affectionate, but appreciates my affection towards him May 14, 2024 · Ask Dr. Dec 21, 2021 · Hell, they may not know how they feel. I had chosen to remain a virgin until marriage, but wound up losing it anyway. NerdLove, Long time reader of your column, first time submitter. I am not a nerd at all, really. We are dating for almost a month now. bh kh ug st os gk dl jo ww ui