Mumsnet relationships second baby

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Looking for some advice. I know I felt my first move a lot earlier than this one, as my husband felt the first baby kick the evening before our 20 week scan, and I know I’d been feeling her for a week or two beforehand. Feb 5, 2024 · Symphony72 · 05/02/2024 11:42. as they get older the little one will probably become that annoying younger sibling you just have to make sure there are boundaries and the older one has personal space but still involved with the younger one. Had my second at 41. I Oct 30, 2013 · Piula · 30/10/2013 03:40. I dont think theres such a thing as 'best age gap' there's never a right or wrong time, you Apr 12, 2010 · Mumsnet makes parents' lives easier by pooling knowledge, advice and support on everything from conception to childbirth, from babies to teenagers. DS was a total colicy nightmare - the worst 2 years of my life - Now it is my dd that gives me trouble (special needs stuff) and my ds is my total delight - by comparison. It won't just reduce risks and increase fertility - you will also feel more in control and less anxious when pregnant. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody. 2 kids. Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. He was emotionally abusive and would physically throw things/kick/punch things etc. Dating is an investment of time and some money. I had got past the worrying about every tiny thing and was able to let a lot of the stress float by me. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody Mar 31, 2016 · Mumsnet makes parents' lives easier by pooling knowledge, advice and support on everything from conception to childbirth, from babies to teenagers. We have a toddler and I'm 34 wks pregnant, I've Jun 21, 2022 · Induction - second baby. Second baby 2 days late so far - but still no sign of it arriving. i have voiced to dp that i wanted two kids close together in age ideally before i was 30. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody Aug 26, 2021 · A few new items of clothes that are "theirs". Advertisement. Add post. So thankfully no nightmare children but second was definitely a shock! Jan 4, 2020 · Me and hubby have a 22 month old, and ideally were planning to start trying for #2, so the age gap isn't too big. I found the second time round to be a walk in the park in comparison. We had so many 'firsts' together and kind of built our adult lives together. Naively thought it wouldn’t take as long this time but I was wrong, it took another 8 months so 10 months again. It took a very good midwife to be able to help me take care of my adrenals when the docs just wanted to put me on Prozac for anxiety. Like others found it easier 2nd time around. I love looking at the beautiful pictures of the siblings meeting for the first time, the newborn days and snuggles all over again - love the idea of that. Our first was not planned, however, he is the biggest blessing and the absolute love Jul 18, 2009 · connie1975 · 18/07/2009 11:11. We have two children together and almost 3 year old and 5 month old. GreenFingeredGoddess · 01/03/2013 10:50. Apr 1, 2020 · The fact DS2 is a good sleeper means DH and I do get more time for us as bedtime is relatively smooth. Feb 6, 2020 · It would mean a maternity with no break from toddler so personally would wait a year (age difference of mine 2yr9 months) Second babies cost hardly anything for the maternity period as you have your big bits and some clothes - it’s your food shop that’s the first hit after weaning. May 28, 2024 · Ironbridge · 29/05/2024 08:41. Nov 3, 2016 · we have a dc age 2. First baby was a massive learning curve for me, so was much more confident with baby2, just had to find a system (and stick to it) for dealing with life with a child you have to get to school, etc, and a baby that has their own timescale. Two miscarriages, two years of trying etc Second baby is significantly harder than our first - lots of crying, up 1000 times at night etc - and my husband is not coping. Not all relationships have to lead to living together, especially if you already have your own children and home. Mousie · 30/01/2008 21:54. In my heart I have always wanted a large family May 6, 2024 · Looking for advice before I drive myself insane with talking to myself about it My husband and I have a 2. 12 replies. We bought our first house, furnished it from scratch, built our careers, our little family we started with nothing financially, and so when money Jan 4, 2020 · Skybooks · 04/01/2020 22:31. Aug 10, 2023 · STILL struggling with second baby : (. I found second time baby phase much easier because I knew more, was already a parent and DC2 was easier to care for in general. Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/07/2020 12:27. 2 months isn’t that long to be trying really so even though It’s Jun 14, 2012 · I'm so worried that this is going to cause problems in our relationship. It obviously helps that baby has slept 12/13 hours straight pretty much since 10 weeks old every night lol. as to the anxiety, it might be your adrenal glands. I have 3 children. You might get a baby who is a nightmare as a newborn but a dream as a 2yo, it's all a gamble! Apr 30, 2024 · I’ve let down my second baby and I’m gutted. Aug 11, 2008 · P. 3 days ago · One alcoholic drink and a soft drink could have cost that (don't start counting the pennies). It also gives me an option to have a 3rd if I want. 5, together 10yrs, lived together 5-6yrs. I had a feeling he was having an affair as there was certain things happening that are not like him at all. Also, dividing and conquering is great. It's partly my fault. 33 replies. I have 3 beautiful children from this (all in their teens). Sorry I’ve not got a lot of advice other than I had a c section and I’m now pregnant with my second child. . We've been together 15 (count them!) years and been marr Dec 3, 2023 · KentLife01 · 03/12/2023 15:44. Apr 18, 2024 · Conceiving our second was fraught; I really wanted another baby, he was hot and cold. We talk for ages about everything and anything. Feb 21, 2023 · We have been discussing the possibility of a second child, he has reservations and told me that he can’t forget the above and that I didn’t do anything to help, and this is his primary reason for being reluctant about having a second child. The first 24 months were bliss and I could never see us parting. Still, got another 48 hours for it to be the same gestation as the first. Holly1212 · 18/05/2024 17:26. Wasn't how I ever imagined it - like you, life, fertility challenges and loss got in the way - but we got there. However, I almost gave up before he came along as there were a lot of time wasters, people who just wanted to meet for sex, creeps, and people who were in relationships. Oct 14, 2003 · Oakmaiden · 14/10/2003 17:51. My last relationship turned sour soon after we moved in together when DC was about 2. Jan 4, 2024 · Undoubtedly it is a loss not to have a much-wanted second child, and a loss for existing children if they don’t get that sibling relationship. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide . Oh, and DH wants 3 kids so it was very easy getting him on-board for number 2! Quote. My first took 10 months to conceive. Most of that was your food and activity (which you had suggested). Jun 22, 2016 · My husband and I are in disagreement about having more children. Leaving an abusive relationship is so hard, no one can really understand how difficult it can be until they've been in that situation themselves. Aug 23, 2020 · Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. I suggest you get in touch and get the support you need. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. I'm currently on maternity leave with 6 month old DS1. Apr 25, 2020 · Hello. It's personal though. 5 replies. It may be for a good reason. I have just started a new relationship however I can’t work out if he’s too good to be true or if I’m too cynical. My first LTR was with a man I met at University. Your priorities are your work and your other family and you make no time or effort fir us at all. yes. I think that losing weight first will help in a number of ways. May 31, 2023 · While you are not married, and living in your house, you charge him (small) rent so it is clear he has no claim on you & your child's home if you split. He has expressed concerns about it being the same the second time. I'm 5 months pregnant with my second child, and feeling increasingly unhappy with my marriage. Technically we could have had a second child but it wouldn’t have been the smart choice for a number of reasons. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Started trying for baby number 2 and had a chemical pregnancy during the second cycle. The door is closing on having a second child and the feeling of permanence has been making me feel guilty and some grief over being a one child family. Very early days into dating. A blanket of their own (my first still loves his baby blanket despite being 5!). Currently pregnant with my second, my toddler is 2. He got more and more distant and we argued more and more. Nappies, wipes, dummies (if using), steriliser tablets, maternity stuff, comfy pants for after birth, bottles etc (if planning to bottle feed), breast pump parts etc. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody Aug 21, 2023 · GoingGoingUp · 21/08/2023 16:19. sigh. The problem is since I came home Apr 21, 2023 · Asher09 · 21/04/2023 15:10. This is a crazy situation, especially the bit about him going round at 11pm if one of them gets out of bed. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody Apr 25, 2021 · He values having some downtime and is worried that a second child will eat into the few free moments we currentlyhave. Oct 18, 2016 · During my pregnancy it worried me that this second baby wouldn't be as loved or that I wouldn't feel as connected to her as I do my son. The story behind this is we had our ds in 2020. For years I only wanted one. It’s been a while since I’ve been in the dating game. Either it's a deal breaker and you move on and find someone who wants a child, or you stay and accept the new status quo. I just couldn't face having another baby as I found it so hard the first time around. He said he didn’t want to start trying again because of my mental health and the problems in our relationship, but he does want another child eventually. SIL had two babes - in her case the second one was bigger but not by much. Big no no for me. This man's a user, a manipulator, a controller. 5yr old daughter, she's amazing, was an easy baby but is a very strong willed toddler who has a strong preference towards me (mum) which can be difficult at times when I want her dad to do something or he tries to do stuff for her. I have been with my DH for 6 years and we have one child together (our daughter). Work wasn't too bad once I had a good routine with work and home, childminder, cleaner etc. We've been TTC #2 for quite a while now, we had a MMC in Dec 18 so TTC again for about 10 months take away the time I was still recovering. Hi all, Am regular (ish) but have namechanged for thisI could really do with some advice and help. I’m am now 35 weeks with my second and I was in the same boat. Now she's here I can honestly hand on heart say I am so totally in love and in awe of her. For second marriage and with the fears you have, I think 18m is too short a time period to really know the full person. Feb 15, 2024 · cheesedome · 15/02/2024 20:24. I found second and subsequent third baby massively easier than the first in every way. L00k4m3x · 15/01/2024 16:43. ) We both would like another child however there is not enough room for another bed or cot to go in there. Jan 20, 2022 · Say it starkly. I know someone who had her first child at 18 and her second child at 32. DS dad is not a good dad to DS at all, he often fails to pick him up, he doesn't give me any child maintenan Oct 23, 2018 · Appreciate any thoughts on this Been married for 8 years and have gorgeous 3yr old. Met somebody on tinder. DS is nearly 10 months old and even though some things have gotten easier in generally finding it so hard and sometimes find myself regretting having a second baby : (, I know it’s such an awful thing to say! He was a wanted baby we had more love to give after May 18, 2024 · New relationship. May 1, 2022 · The relationship we have with DH’s brother is one of the reasons we think we will only have one child. Our second baby will soon be age one and I feel like we're really distant from each other. First off he texts me in the day, either morning or afternoon to tell me he’s thinking of me and can’t wait to talk to me at night. I have 2 DC under 3 with DH (although we are not married) and a 10 year old from a previous relationship. They adore each other, and its amazing watching my older one teach the little one things. Feb 27, 2023 · Obviously if you feel touched out it’s totally fine to say no but if you just feel a bit tired or disinterested, it’s worth at least having a cuddle and a massage, and ‘seeing where it goes’ just to maintain that connection. I was exhausted and didn’t think I could manage another child, as DS was hard work and still is a terrible sleeper. I've since met a new partner & sh Jan 15, 2024 · Bookmark. As far as I was concerned he was taking Mar 30, 2005 · eidsvold · 31/03/2005 13:08. going through a divorce/buying a house. exactly like you dd was not great as a baby but we got some sleep eventually. I was hoping it would be a couple of days early, but no. I'm not interested in sex at the moment as I'm breastfeeding and feel so touched out and both children and have been tag teaming illness for months so I'm sleep deprived and exhausted. Found the first time round incredibly difficult. Oct 17, 2023 · Relationships. Apr 25, 2024 · Ponderingwindow · 26/04/2024 00:08. Do it. The last 5 months have completely defeated us as a couple. no1 was just 6lb 1/2 oz and 10 days early. . We have known each other a few months but been dating afew weeks. But the practical side of me is like “girl, it’s forever, there is no coming back”. We argue a lot, over nothing mo Feb 22, 2024 · @Hopingandwaiting2021 could have written this myself at one point! My eldest is 3, once he turned 1 I started thinking about baby no2. We had our first child fairly early in our relationship. Apr 4, 2024 · Hi mumsnet people. Feb 7, 2024 · Also have a 5 year age gap between DS1 and DS2. It's up to you to decide which. Jun 1, 2024 · Navigating your 'second' LTR. Aug 2, 2018 · Please help me!!! I am having serious relationship issues after the birth of my second child - my baby is now 1 but they seem to be getting worse. I am 28, been with my husband since I’ve been 18, marrie Mar 11, 2007 · When my second child, a boy, was born about two months ago, I had serious issues as to what I felt about him. Apr 25, 2005 · dp and I have been trying on and off for a 2nd child, had mc last year. Tantrums galore and very emotional. You need to give him an ultimatum. I can't remember the name but the charity definitely exists. Oct 26, 2014 · Dc2 due soon. I have a 18 month old son and most of my friends already have at least one (or planning another) or more children. mn999 · 21/06/2022 19:56. Dgxx · 27/04/2024 08:18. There are practical reasons too which are similar to yours but DH just doesn’t want to recreate a sibling relationship. I'm not feeling "pressure" to have a second a Jan 17, 2022 · Dillydollydingdong · 17/01/2022 13:45. I daresay he WILL resent me for something but all I can do is what I feel is best at the Aug 19, 2022 · I always wanted a second child but The smaller bedroom is currently for my baby ( 5 months) and my partner’s child (12 years. I think if you have 1 child then a second doesn't make too much of a difference. Old enough to understand not to squeeze them to death too. The other night he said some awful things to Dec 26, 2023 · MoodyMum94 · 26/12/2023 07:58. Mar 15, 2011 · Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. Sep 16, 2019 · Yes it is totally normal. She then became a grandmother at 36 as her eldest had a baby! Quote. Like other posters have said you've got to make a decision. May 18, 2024 · Star44 · 18/05/2024 14:02. I met someone after my divorce who I thought was the love of my life. The first (a girl) is now 18 months and he adores her. Did sleep through until 15+ months and is still easily disturbed and an early riser. 195 replies. Ever Jul 21, 2023 · Going from 1-2 was absolutely easy, no dramas at all! Yes it's juggling 2 different needs but mine was just turned 3 when baby sis was born and she has been a brilliant help. he’s 7 years younger than me. Aug 22, 2020 · so basically I'm pregnant with my second child with my partner, however I having serious doubts about my love for him. a policeman. I don't think we realised how much a second child would put a strain on Oct 1, 2021 · Sparklehorse82 · 01/10/2021 10:41. We have both been very clear just how much we already like each other and have for sometime, we love spending time Dec 24, 2023 · Hiddenvoice · 25/12/2023 23:45. I'm expecting my second now and have an induction booked at 39 weeks due to babies size (tracking small). He’s more firmly one child than I am and that has been his view since before we had our child. He has also confessed having conflicted feelings towards fatherhood: he loves DD to bits and is amazing with her, but at the same time he feels terribly guilty for not having enjoyed the baby stage as much as he perceived other Dec 29, 2021 · Baby would always be receiving plenty of oxygen via the cord and I'm assuming the midwives were still listening to baby's heart rate at least every 15 minutes (although ideally every 5 mins in the second stage) to pick up any decelerations which can be a sign of fetal distress. As a result I think I’ve naturally pushed her away almost because I’ve been so scared of my first baby Feb 9, 2024 · A lot of my friends started their second pregnancies or already had a second baby. I want a trial separation and you can take some time to decide whether you actually value our relationship enough to put time and effort into it. I'm 32 - I have a 16 month old and am now 5 months pregnant with my second the idea was to have the kids close in age and 'get it over and done with' while I'm able to. Mar 22, 2020 · Basically I am just so fed up of being taken from granted and treated like a piece of shit. Me and my husband always wanted 2 children but since having our son and realising how hard it is (mainly Jun 14, 2019 · A second child won't build bridges or heal wounds caused by infidelity, nor will having the 'correct' number planned automatically bring happiness. A new special soft toy. First baby 4 days late. He has probably sensed the change in you, hence his own change in behaviour. 2nd is much more highly strung. 0-1 was definitely the biggest shock/adjustment. I'm cycle day 1 today and new year, new baby hopefully! Mar 1, 2013 · Grieving over not having a second child. Dec 8, 2020 · Luckily second baby has no allergies and sleeps better. I went back to work a year later and really struggled between being a working parent, some unresolved work behaviours and working from home. Apr 6, 2020 · I can’t cope with the sadness and guilt, I cry every day at least once a day. Apr 27, 2024 · Relationship at breaking point after second baby. Jul 29, 2018 · Relationships. I have been with my husband 16 years and married for 5. Living apart together gives you the best of both worlds; your own space and time for yourself and the fun and romance stays fresh when you do get together. 10 replies. Nov 27, 2023 · There is a charity run by men to support in abusive relationships. I knew I wanted another baby, but he wasn’t easy as a newborn (didn’t sleep much at night, breastfeeding was a big fail, was very unsettled etc), so safe to say I was really rather nervous about the idea of looking after a newborn (who potentially could Mar 12, 2023 · aureus3012 · 13/03/2023 18:50. 6 replies. They're now 5 and 7 and I'm pregnant with number 3 at the grand age of 34 so a bit different to being pregnant in my mid twenties but still alright. Hi! I had my first baby spontaneously at 36 weeks, vaginal delivery no intervention etc. He has checked out and I feel like I am solo parenting our baby. Thanks. Part of me knows that marriage takes work, has its ups and downs (particularly when coupled with the exhaustion of Sep 26, 2005 · I'm not sure where to start - this might turn out to be a long one as it's quite complex so apologies in advance!I'm a semi-regular poster but I've ch Mar 15, 2024 · Lost friends since having a second child. Jan 17, 2007 · My DH and I always planned to have more than one baby close in age to each other if we could. Dec 3, 2020 · Jarline · 03/12/2020 22:30. I am 35 this month and the guy I am dating is 46. What I probably need to face is the regret I feel about not having a second child sooner so that my daughter could have had a similar age sibling, but life has a habit of getting in the way, doesn’t it. Quote. I felt a bit guilty around age 4, but we eventually figured out that dc had SN. I know hormones and isolation are not helping as I’ve not got the usual Apr 9, 2016 · I'm 24, with one DS who is 6 and is SN. Set a target weight and/or age to start trying. This man's on his own because he's a liability that no one else wants to take on. While I love the littl Nov 9, 2023 · MonsteraMama · 10/11/2023 07:12. I had ppd and ppa with my middle baby and my first born was very jealous and wouldn’t even let me hug her. I lost a baby in the 2nd trimester and nearly died from blood loss. The births were easier too. Mexicocorn · 15/03/2024 09:33. Lately I am feeling a bit down/overwhelmed (got pg very close afte dc1) I am very lucky / grateful but sort of worry where it will le Jan 23, 2009 · Most popular Win a stay at Bluestone National Park Resort Win tix for the Red Roses vs Black Ferns game Win a £200 gift card to spend at Boots Drug-free pain relief for back ache Best non-wired bras for larger breasts Summer wedding guest dresses for destination weddings Discover the period pants MNers swear by Mumsnetters love M&S and we're not surprised Jan 30, 2008 · Bookmark. A family member also had an emergency c section and is pregnant again too so I’m not sure if it’s to do with the c section. I have almost 6 years between mine, with my second born when I was 39. I always wanted two but after I had DS, I was done with one and didn’t want anymore. One is newborn. Dilemma over having a second child! Advice needed! Hi, I am new to mumsnet so not too sure how this works. We remained close and met up regularly with and without children. Apr 8, 2021 · Surely my first priority is to be emotionally well so that I can effectively parent and be present for the child I already have? I just keep getting told he will resent me for not "giving" him a sibling, as if the second baby is a present for the first one. I'm 44. Had post natal depression, baby had colic, etc. Well done for doing everything you've done, it's huge and brave and frightening. The date didn't cost you £50 as in you're out of pocket £50. S. If you subsequently marry, everything goes in a pot and is paid from the communal pot, except those specific child costs shared with your ex. Mar 8, 2012 · Our DD has just turned 2, and many friends have already had their second baby, or are about to have one. Marriage has always been shaky but recently I've really starte Jan 30, 2020 · Most popular Drug-free pain relief for back ache Mumsnet users are loving M&S these days Best non-wired bras for larger breasts Summer wedding guest dresses for destination weddings The Antler backpack our users love Discover the period pants MNers swear by Skirt and top wedding guest outfits Women's waistcoats that MNers are loving Summer wedding guest dresses for church Mar 6, 2023 · Second child. It often very difficult to walk away from an abusive relationship. Jan 2, 2018 · Hoping for some advice please We've had our first child in October, birth was horrendous more so for my hubby me. My husband and I met through on line dating. Whilst of course baby is most important, and family time all together is also, it’s also so refreshing to get a bit of time alone together to focus on each other. I had DS at 22, he's 7 and not a chance I would want to do the whole baby and toddler stage again. We went round and round in circles trying to decide whether to have another and decided we were happy as we were. I am not saying you partner will never change. May 3, 2024 · tanyaturneristhegoat · 03/05/2024 07:05. I refuse to live like this. Jan 15, 2024 · Date nights too when you can. DS is 4 and was conceived within 6 months. It lead to a period of depression and a year of therapy. It was actually very healing to have a second, which I didn’t expect. Encourage lots of interaction between them, let your oldest help with feeds, bathing baby etc. Both reflux children. Mar 9, 2019 · Our relationship suffered as I felt he had not been there for me following the miscarriages, and my mental health suffered massively. My partner wouldn’t be able to afford to put money towards moving to a bigger house so it would be down to me May 27, 2023 · AliceMcK · 27/05/2023 15:20. I've been seeing some horror stories about inductions and looking for peoples Jul 21, 2014 · Hi everyone I feel this could be a pretty long post so apologies in advance! I have just found out I am 6 weeks pregnant with our second child. Feb 17, 2012 · My husband has admitted that he's not bonding with our second baby. jellywelly467 · 30/04/2024 21:01. "This is miserable for me. I’m now in a fairly stable place. Hewlet · 01/06/2024 16:46. Feb 14, 2023 · On the topic of a second baby, there are arguments on both sides. My partner had a mental breakdown after having sudden fear of our second child arriving. Since I got pregnant with our second child, our relationship has changed. This was confirmed a few days ago. 27 replies. either he sorts out proper access that is fair, or kick him out. Jan 27, 2015 · Sickoffrozen · 27/01/2015 16:13. No2 was born 11 days late and weighed 9lb 7oz. Our relationship is up and down. I secretly thought that he would always be my number 1 - as horrible as that sounds. 5 years. SassyPants87 · 10/08/2023 20:56. We've been together 15 years. However we're struggling as it is- s Jul 23, 2020 · Bookmark. I guarantee he'll move in with them if you do though. I do not regret sticking to one child. It hasn’t happened as a result of a big argument or anything like that but I was part of an antenatal group with my first baby. Things change so much with a baby, and even now almost two years later we don’t have nearly as much sex as we did pre-child. It may be for a bad reason. Aug 14, 2018 · Last year I split amicably from a longterm relationship. Hi, I'm TTC #2. the first date 2 weeks ago went well, due to his schedule the second date isn’t until next week but nothing set it stone (as in Jul 31, 2021 · It's a leap in the dark as any baby is - no real way of knowing what your pregnancy or baby will be like. If a man's single, there's a reason. Feb 18, 2013 · Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. Oct 7, 2019 · The short story - My husband has depressive tendancies We met 8 years ago and he was on antidepressants and he stopped them 4 months after we star Mar 11, 2024 · LittleLittleRex · 11/03/2024 11:58. Feb 24, 2017 · 1st was an angel baby - slept 12 hours a night from 9 weeks! Easy going, calm, barely any tantrums. Feels like DH got jealous or he's gone into being and old fashion man! I have never been the best housewife but I try my best, he's always saying the house is a tip, I don't speak nicely to him. I had a horrible few months. I was very happy we were able to give our one child all our resources and set up our household to run in a way that prioritized one child’s needs without compromise. She's certainly a daddy's g Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. xz mi np pl ti mc nz np qn qi